Narcissm

I will resume my quest of this wild goose chase looking for question and answers I have yet to ponder. Dont ask me why. Maybe I was born with a prying mind. To pry and impose. I was afraid to pen my thoughts. I still am right now as I type. And hopefully this ability to express my thoughts would not be as futile as who I am. A lot of people came to me, disgusted with the idea of having a blog. Having a blog telling the world that I had Spaghetti Carbonara ala Tom Yum isnt really what I thought I would venture into. It would definitely be scary, scary for someone to read my thoughts and judge me and my opinions without any guilt nor sympathy. But I am not doing this for them. My reason is just to vent out whatever I feel or think. My excuse, my reason.

I come to only find out what I said to people when they share with me, what I said. A little irony there, more to come. Friends of mine came to me telling me I give good food for thought. Narrating the things that I say. And the thing is, I am amazed myself when I hear it coming back to me. And I have no idea how I could even share this with others. This drug for my ego does not fit my bill. It flatters me, it makes me feel good, but I dont know where it came from. The advice I have given to others sounds better for me when they return it back to me. Its time for me to discover how much full of shit I have given to people through talking/speaking. Maybe this thalata blog of mine would remind me.

Dont you think that it is necessary for everyone to remember the pain, the suffering they have endured to make themselves better individuals? It is time for my left hand to slap my righteous self-righteous right hand. We show others our paint-ball injuries, we trade them war stories and we show them we are still living. We tell our very dear ones now way long ago our sad stories of our past. Have we actually grown and evolved from those days.. The days of our lives.or those days of our lives. It is time I put a bill and a check and balance on my own life. I must be in debt. Indebted. And poverty stricken now. Reach out, someone reach out and please pay the bill. Save me from my self induced pain.

Slap. Slap,slap