Kiss of life

I have a friend who was given the kiss of life. On such an occasion, most of the time, things are suppose to change. Not many are given the opportunity as usually we force ourselves into change. And it's a struggle. And it always is a struggle to force ourselves. To look beyond whats already there, and strive , and to battle our own inertia. And the hope of change comes with its' own price. This does not happen for the selected few. The selected people who are given a boost , the ones who are touched with kiss of life.

And the kiss, becomes a passion, a romance between the cell and its' environment. The passion makes it too easy to be in-tune with the body. In-tune with what things are supposed to be. And knowing that things can never be the same. And it should not be the same. Never like yesterday. And the kiss of life, the wonderful cancer, lives on the body, changes you to be your perfect self. Bit by bit until it becomes Stage-4.

The origin of this comes from a single occasion, or a combination of them, filled with so much struggle and pain and it floods you with emotion. It drives you crazy that your mind starts becoming like a madman. You spirit gets a resuscitation. The flash is so bright that everything else is now nothing.

Yet, these people don't know what to do. They are afraid to let go. Afraid of the unknown. Thinking that the past was and will always be better than today. Or tomorrow, or the future.

Do not fall asleep my friend. There are more people dreaming, there are more people REMming, than the ones who are awake. The ones who see the truth. The ones who live the truth. Do not stay the same. Leave us behind but pull the pack.

The umbilical cord has been cut so long ago and we struggle on our own. That kiss of life and this kiss of life are two different things. Try not to climb back in. The water has broke, the placenta is gone, and there is no more life support for you.

Remember that the first kiss of life before has now made you walk, from whence you used to turn and crawled.

Dancing feathers

Lets make it short
Lets make it sweet,
I'll put you in water
And i'll turn on the heat

I'll pluck all your feathers
And let it all float
And let's come together
In this sad sad boat,

I'll break your wings
And listen to the bones break
I'll make sure it stings,
This freedom is great

And let's dance
to the sadness and misery
When all is done,
All done by me...

Infancy

Black then white are,
all I see in my infancy,
red and yellow then came to be,
reaching out to me, let's me see.... .

"lateralus"

wake up my friend, you and I will be back again.
to see things for what it means. What the senses mean, what things are supposed to mean
how things used to be, will never be the same again.
until this knowledge, which is too much to bare,
will come haunting you, asking and begging you to decide what is the only thing left to decide.
and only real thing to come from this, is no longer real as how you felt.

until the day, my friend, until the day where it is my turn to sleep.

Limbo

This is not the way limbo should be. And im not talking about the salsa music with some pole over you, with you trying to break your back trying to walk under it.

Somethings are just not right. Regardless of perspective. Are we lost, lost in this world never to be found. Perhaps having friends, doing and living life like we always do helps. Which brings me to the question of living life ? Does a person live a full life by living the mundane till their old age, or a life filled with trouble and tragedy with a short lifespan ?

What are the thrills that we seek ? Some roller coaster ride, some horror movie, a rock concert moshpitting around, some near death experience, a life threathening disease ....... Should we appreciate life when we have our numbers counted. It appears so.

We escape a lethal car crash, we get wrongly diagnosed of cancer, we do bungee jumps and we all talk about it. We appreciate the next few days of life only for it to turn normal the next following decades.

It is the fear. The fear is what makes us feel alive. We would feel alive when we have escaped. Escape whatever tragedy that could have happened. You can read that again. Whatever tragedy that could have happened. Fear would make you do wonder-full and ugly things.

Ask yourselves, when was I afraid. When was the last time I had my heart pumping 200 beats per minute. Thats 3 times the average resting cycle of a 20 year old. [Or for our readers who are much older, count it yourself , rough approximation of maximum heart rate, HRmax = 220 - age ] When you find your answer of when, you can secretly admit that you were high. High on adrenaline. And you can also secretly admit that you felt alive. But it'll be our secret. Yet you and I are avoiding any approximation of fear. We would want to live a full life without the mundane. But there's the problem of choice. And that's the problem of choice.

And we yearn for some safe house sanctuary wanting to sleep in our comfortable beds home at night. We yearn for some solitude knowing that everyone likes us and our partners would not kill us in our sleep.

The nucleus

The nucleus

There, where it used to be

There, there’s this border

Where things were the way they were,

Making things so whole,

Making things so pure,

Making it how it always were

Living like its not so straight,

Living like it will last forever

Having this single cell

Where everything is in boundary

Leeching on my own skin

Leeching

(feel in the blanks with fills and chatter)
(make this your own)

Inverse polarity of the mind

Everybody gets kicks by going in the wrong direction. Theoretically, we know the right thing to do, the right thing to say, yet we why are we going the other way?

What is Not OK to do now which is acceptable to other people? I cannot find the answer.
I think, at this day and age, it is possible to live life however possible. This is the scary part of the grey area. Ambition and existence has crossed all boundaries. Maybe we are doomed to existence.

We are the byproduct of confused selection, nearing inversion of lifestyle. I have lost sight of the line. The only line. Should duality in life be the only answer to living? Right/Wrong, Yes/No, instead of fuzzy logic grey area.

I think, we are at that state. The state where we are inverting all the polarities. We are crossing the line. This grey area would soon diminish. We are close to completion.

What happens when the sun sets in the east and rises in the west? Or when a mother becomes a slave to her child? See doomsday signs in Islam. What would happen if all the binaries in the digital world were inverted? Simple 0’s are now 1’s. And simple 1’s are now 0’s. See doomsday signs in IT.

Some people enjoy tattoos and body piercing. But cow branding just doesn’t cut it. We scathe ourselves with protractors to have childhood tattoos yet we avoid having BCG tattoos. Wonder whether male gay homosexuals enjoy doing an anal probe check at the doctor? Yes, no, yesssss, nooooo, don’t ask if guys French the girls they just gave a money shot on their faces with. Is going against the grain just as natural as going along it?

We are close to completion.

We are at the grey area now. Exclusions and exceptions of people please have your names here in the comments section and write your credit card details. In the end, reality is the only truth. Where truth is as fictional as the life we see fly by.

On Writing

Finally, I decided to somehow announce my blog, blog slevin, to some people. After having about 7 blogs, did I find myself the courage for people to read what I wrote. Its quite scary to have people just reading your thoughts. Its just not as subjective as visual or auditory arts. The idea of people just reading your thoughts, hopefully not hanging to every word. Hopefully, not putting it out of context. Hopefully this and hopefully that. Maybe, it does take a little courage, for people to stand on a pedestal and give a speech/talk, sing and play some innermost emotional songs for people to perform autopsy on it, for models/stewards(es) to run the catwalk for everyone to see. Never really saw the darker side of writing until blogging. Or until the decision to rant and express. Check my blog numero uno.

Its like nakedness on the metaphorical plane. Its like people knowing you, strangers getting acquainted with you. Its more like "all this while I thought this guy was like this, but after reading his stuff, he's is so different". Its funny but true. Cannot explain why there is a need for redemption or acknowledgement, more so from strangers.

Somehow, with writing, maybe there's an escape.

I guess this is something different for me. There is no harm taking a different route back home. And sometimes the journey is as important as the destination.

Nobody says we have to live life the same way everyday.